Fuzzy Math

Just got to thinking about something -- the whole time I've been talking about IVF, I've made constant reference to that $25,000 number -- which is REALLY close to what this will end up costing.

But now that we know that we will be having twins -- does that mean I should change the total to "The Making of (2) $12,500 Babies?"  Because when you think about it -- its kinda like we got a 2-for-1 coupon.  Or a 50% discount.  A Discount Double Check if you will.

I was also looking forward to the $25K guilt trip I would have at my disposal when this child became old enough to negotiate.  Now my leverage has been halved.  Such is life...

Why I Actually Think We’re Lucky

Most people who hear about couples having to go through IVF feel a certain level of sympathy. When the decision has been made to start trying for a baby, you don’t ever think this will be your path.  We certainly didn’t.  But I actually think we are really fortunate to have discovered that IVF was going to be our required path fairly quickly.

We tried naturally for about 6 months before I went into my gynecologist.  At that point, the tests started, and that was a difficult process in itself.  But we found out after about 4 months where our challenges stemmed from, and there was a procedure done to try and reconcile the issue which was unsuccessful. So after only 6 months of trying to figure this out, we had our answers and knew what our solution would be. IVF was still daunting, but at least we knew.

There are so many couples out there that are desperate for a baby.  They try for years, they have an endless amount of tests done, and they put thousands of dollars into the process. But everything they do comes back negative and doesn’t help explain why they can’t get pregnant.  That would have been excruciating for us, and it makes the decisions of what to do going forward so much more difficult. Should we keep trying?  Can we afford to keep trying? Should we adopt instead?

We definitely would have preferred being able to have our babies naturally (certainly more fun), but I am so thankful that we have answers in our hands.  This is a solution that we are able to afford that allows us to try and have kids of our own. That, to me, is a real blessing.

Heartbeat(s)

Wow.  Just wow.

Earlier this week Jill and I went for our first sonogram since we found out she was pregnant.  Going in, this seemed like a much bigger deal than the original pregnancy test.  That was just a blood test and a phone call later in the day.  Very cool, but still – it seemed like it was just another step in the process.

I figured this would be neat – there is a visual component to sonograms that is really interesting.  Obviously the images aren’t exactly crystal clear, but its still cool to put a picture to what we’ve talked about.

As soon as we started seeing things I was blown away – within 5 seconds we were looking at a picture of our baby on the screen.  We knew it had worked so we knew we would be seeing this, but it was still overwhelming.  There (s)he was.  Hanging out.  What I wasn’t prepared for was being able to see the heartbeat.  I didn’t know that was possible at this point.  The pregnancy calendar is a bit skewed because of IVF, but basically Jill was at 7 weeks and 1 day.  And on this day our baby had a heartbeat.  I am – technically – a dad.  BIG stuff.  Awesome stuff.

As Jill has mentioned, everything (except for the cramping and nausea) has gone really well so far.  Since they transferred two embryos, there was a good chance she could have two babies – and possibly more if they divided.  So after gawking at baby #1 for a couple minutes the doctor moved on to see if there were more.

Not 3 seconds later we were staring at baby #2.  Again – seeing the heartbeat – knowing that my baby – BOTH my babies! – were in there and doing well was just, well, life altering!

This was a best case scenario for us.  Jill and I have talked about wanting two kids forever – if they come at the same time so be it!  Just an FYI – these two babies will be as different genetically and physiologically as siblings born years apart – they are fraternal, not identical.   

We don’t know if they will be boys or girls yet – that info comes in a couple months.  Baby #1 – who the doctor labeled ‘A’ in the photo – is lower in the uterus and is likely to be born first.  I’m calling him(her) Alpha.  Baby #2 – labeled ‘B’ in the photo – is a bit higher in the uterus.  I’m calling this one Beta.

Just to be sure the doctor checked to make sure there weren’t any more babies hiding in there.  Thankfully there weren’t.  We’re really excited to be having two, but are fully content with that.  Last thing we need is an army of babies and the TLC reality show that would inevitably follow.  Because I think we all know that doesn’t always end well.  And Jill would have to get an awful hairstyle…

One thing I want to reiterate – seeing BOTH of these heartbeats was probably the most amazing experience of my entire life.  The more I think about it, the more significant it becomes.  Its generated a 1000 different thoughts for me – some of which I’ll share on the blog and some of which will be kept (and rightfully so) in the corners of my brain.

Did I mention I’m a dad?  Again, wow.

Call me “Patches”

Now that we know we’re pregnant, the “fun” hasn’t all finished for me.  Right now, I still have to do a shot of progesterone each night (more bruises). Joe has to administer those since they need to go above my rump (thus the black circles so he knows where to inject) And I’m wearing three patches of Estradiol.  Both are needed because my body isn’t naturally producing all of the necessary hormones yet. Some trickery is still needed to make sure the pregnancy is safe.

The shot I can deal with; it’s almost old hat by now.  But these patches are the pits!!  They’re itchy and sticky; they dry out my skin too.  Plus, I’m pretty sure they are causing some pretty bad cramping that, as luck would have it, all hit in the middle of the night (did I mention that I’m already exhausted at the end of each day?).  Fortunately, the patches are only needed for a few weeks, and then I will wean off them. But the wait for that seems interminable right now. I look like I’m trying to really, really quit smoking!

I guess this was just another one of the pieces that was included in the box o’ drugs that I was unprepared for, and am definitely not enjoying.

Surreal news

We got the call from our clinic.  And it worked – we’re pregnant!  It’s a phone call that changes your life and yet there isn’t much to react to.  Don’t get me wrong, I can’t begin to describe how excited I am that we have had success with this whole process. But now it feels like we have lots of waiting to do – waiting to find out how many babies there are, waiting to make sure we get past the first 12-14 weeks, waiting to tell our family and friends.  And you can’t really start planning for anything either.  So we just keep the news and excitement inside until we get a few weeks down the road.

It occurs to me how lucky we have been through the process (not lucky to have needed to go through it in the first place). We had wonderful results with the egg retrieval (17), we had great results with fertilization (14), and we had great results with viable embryos (2 transferred and 8 frozen).  I don’t think we could have hoped for each step to have gone better. For me, it’s especially such a relief to know we have the frozen embryos because this means we will never have to start from scratch with a fresh cycle.  This means less needle sticks, fewer appointments and an easier process all around. So that is an extra relief for me personally.

Of course, we might not ever go through another cycle if we end up with multiples. But that’s news we have to wait for over the next few weeks.

Administrative Note

February was nuts for us.  I was traveling for work and working funky hours and Jill was dealing with some pretty serious physical discomfort, so we didn't post events as they happened.  We've written about the events that happened during that time, though, and I'll post them in basically the same chronological order in which they occurred.

At some point we'll post a calendar of events to clarify the different steps in the process.

We will now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging...