It’s not been a walk in the park

I think Joe has mentioned that I have not had an easy time so far in this pregnancy.  The nausea was awful, but it has gotten better.  I’m still waiting for that blissful second trimester time, now that I’m almost 5 months along, but I don’t think that will be in the cards for me.  I am still getting sick occasionally and have a prescription for nausea to help keep that at bay.

But what’s been most difficult are the few scares that we have had.  Joe wrote about Friday, the 13^th in April.  Well, a couple weeks ago, I had a little more spotting.  It wasn’t as bad as the first time, and this time I knew what was going on and that there wasn’t too much to be worried about as far as the babies were concerned.  But it’s still so scary because it’s still a sign that not everything is absolutely perfect.

This time I had an even better understanding of what might be happening.  At the ultrasound, the doctor found that the placenta of our baby girl is pretty close to my cervix. This makes it much more likely to have bleeding and it’s something they need to keep a pretty close eye on.  In fact, if the placenta moves over the cervix, I will most likely be put on some sort of bed rest, which I dread more than anything.

Sometimes it feels really unfair.  We had to go through so much just to get pregnant. Shouldn’t I get a free pass to an easy pregnancy?  But I know it doesn’t work that way, so I know I just need to do whatever is needed to make sure these babies that we have worked so hard for stay safe and sound for many more weeks.

I have to really watch how much activity I have each day. I can’t really even go for walks.  Trying to run the errands that we need to do to prepare for the babies is exhausting and makes me a little nervous. It’s hard having that worry in the back of my head all the time (if you know me, you know I don’t need any help with worrying), and I really wish I was able to do more.  But once again, Joe has shown how amazing he is. He helps out a lot around the house and does what he can to help me feel more comfortable. He has been patient whenever I don’t feel well and helps me feel calmer when the tears can’t be stopped. I don’t know what I would do without him!

Finding out what’s in the envelope

A few weeks ago, I went in for my first ultrasound where they do all of the screening and really make sure that the babies are developing well.  Unfortunately, Joe wasn’t able to go since it was only his second day at the new job and he didn’t want to ask for the time already.

It was pretty fascinating!!  They took measurements of the bones, the spine, the internal organs, the brain, everything. They made sure each amniotic sac looks good, and that everything seems to be progressing according to plan. The babies were definitely not cooperating; they were moving all over the place so it took awhile, but they were able to collect all of the information they wanted.

The doctor came in and explained that both babies look really good, and that neither is showing any signs of Downs or Spina Bifida.  This was really the news that we were most anxious about, so it was a joy to hear that from her.

They are both the same size, which is also a good thing.  And, not surprising, they both have pretty big heads. At this appointment, they were also able to tell the genders, but since Joe wasn’t there, I asked them to put that news in an envelope so that we could open it together and find out.

I had to leave the envelope in the car because it just would have been too distracting the entire day if I knew it was in my bag at work.  But we both left work a little early to try and get home as quickly as possible. We sat down and opened the envelope.  Baby A…a girl!!!  And Baby B…a boy!!!  We’re having one of each!  It was so exciting to see that we were basically getting exactly what we wanted.  Of course, we would have been ecstatic for two girls or two boys, but knowing that this was going to be our family and we would have a son and a daughter was just awesome!!

It’s hard to say that we have been lucky in this process.  Because having to go through IVF in the first place doesn’t exactly make you feel like you are very lucky.  And it hasn’t been easy, the IVF process or the pregnancy, but to know that our family of four will be here in just a few short months makes everything absolutely worth it.  We’ve had good results all along the way, and I know a lot of couples don’t have the type of luck we have had, so we feel so blessed to be at this stage, knowing our babies are healthy and that we’ll be looking for cute gear in both blue and pink!

Houston, We Have a Problem…

AKA Joe’s pipes don’t work

In my first post I mentioned that I’d be talking about all kinds of things is this blog – including anatomical things that some might consider a bit, um, sensitive.  I think its important, though, to give an honest picture of why IVF was necessary for us.  I’m not embarrassed by any of this.  I don’t necessarily think its dinner conversation, either, but if any readers have questions about any of it, I’m certainly willing to talk about it in greater detail – although I’d prefer a fairly discreet setting…

I don’t have exact numbers, but for the majority of couples who face IVF as the only way to have a biological baby, it is the woman who has some anatomical issue that is inhibiting a traditional pregnancy.    Typical treatments include prescription drugs (that increase likelihood of pregnancy) or Artificial Insemination.  The latter involves a healthy sperm sample and works incredibly similar – biologically speaking – to how it is done in farm animals.

In our case, after we had tried to get pregnant for 6 months or so with no luck, Jill went to an OB/GYN to get the thorough diagnostics done to determine if she had any fertility issues.  Tests came back negative – no issues.  This, logically, meant that I might be the cause.  First up for me was a semen analysis.  My test came back negative as well – only in this case negative meant zero – as in no sperm.   I repeated the test with the same results – I produced semen but no sperm was found in it – ie we can’t make a baby that way.

This was tough to hear, but this is where my medical background was useful.  Some men may feel inadequate or uncomfortable after receiving this news.  I just don’t think like that.  My response was, “Ok, what do we do next?”

A blood test quickly confirmed that my testosterone levels were normal, meaning I should be producing sperm, which indicated one of two things – there was either a blockage or the vas deferens (the essential ‘pipe’) simply wasn’t present.  

This is where the science gets a bit fuzzy.  The most common reason why the vas deferens wouldn’t be present is because the person either has or is a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis.  As far as I know I don’t have a family history of it.  One (expensive) blood test later I found out that I didn’t carry the gene, however two different doctors said that the test was imperfect.  Great.  We all love expensive, imperfect test, right??

Regardless this indicated a blockage.  Over the next couple months I had two separate procedures (one excruciatingly painful and another with general anesthesia—thank god!) to attempt to clear the blockage.  Both of these were unsuccessful in opening the proper ‘pipes.’ 

At this point, there were no more procedures to try.  Upon review, two different fertility-specific urologists surmised that the CF test was incorrect and that I might still be a carrier of it.  I think its worth noting that I had a hernia operation in 2002 that had some ensuing complications.  Hernia procedures involve placing a chunk of synthetic mesh in very close proximity to where these pipes reside.  I think there’s a chance the doctor who did the procedure caused damage during the operation.  It didn’t really matter though – at that point IVF was the only realistic option left on the table.

After choosing an IVF doctor, one of the aforementioned urologists simply retrieved a sperm sample via a long needle (again – general anesthesia was used, again – thank god…).  Then when Jill went through her retrieval process a lovely Asian woman in a lab brought her egg and my sperm together and magic ensued.  Likely awkward, nervous magic, but magic nonetheless…