Houston, We Have a Problem…

AKA Joe’s pipes don’t work

In my first post I mentioned that I’d be talking about all kinds of things is this blog – including anatomical things that some might consider a bit, um, sensitive.  I think its important, though, to give an honest picture of why IVF was necessary for us.  I’m not embarrassed by any of this.  I don’t necessarily think its dinner conversation, either, but if any readers have questions about any of it, I’m certainly willing to talk about it in greater detail – although I’d prefer a fairly discreet setting…

I don’t have exact numbers, but for the majority of couples who face IVF as the only way to have a biological baby, it is the woman who has some anatomical issue that is inhibiting a traditional pregnancy.    Typical treatments include prescription drugs (that increase likelihood of pregnancy) or Artificial Insemination.  The latter involves a healthy sperm sample and works incredibly similar – biologically speaking – to how it is done in farm animals.

In our case, after we had tried to get pregnant for 6 months or so with no luck, Jill went to an OB/GYN to get the thorough diagnostics done to determine if she had any fertility issues.  Tests came back negative – no issues.  This, logically, meant that I might be the cause.  First up for me was a semen analysis.  My test came back negative as well – only in this case negative meant zero – as in no sperm.   I repeated the test with the same results – I produced semen but no sperm was found in it – ie we can’t make a baby that way.

This was tough to hear, but this is where my medical background was useful.  Some men may feel inadequate or uncomfortable after receiving this news.  I just don’t think like that.  My response was, “Ok, what do we do next?”

A blood test quickly confirmed that my testosterone levels were normal, meaning I should be producing sperm, which indicated one of two things – there was either a blockage or the vas deferens (the essential ‘pipe’) simply wasn’t present.  

This is where the science gets a bit fuzzy.  The most common reason why the vas deferens wouldn’t be present is because the person either has or is a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis.  As far as I know I don’t have a family history of it.  One (expensive) blood test later I found out that I didn’t carry the gene, however two different doctors said that the test was imperfect.  Great.  We all love expensive, imperfect test, right??

Regardless this indicated a blockage.  Over the next couple months I had two separate procedures (one excruciatingly painful and another with general anesthesia—thank god!) to attempt to clear the blockage.  Both of these were unsuccessful in opening the proper ‘pipes.’ 

At this point, there were no more procedures to try.  Upon review, two different fertility-specific urologists surmised that the CF test was incorrect and that I might still be a carrier of it.  I think its worth noting that I had a hernia operation in 2002 that had some ensuing complications.  Hernia procedures involve placing a chunk of synthetic mesh in very close proximity to where these pipes reside.  I think there’s a chance the doctor who did the procedure caused damage during the operation.  It didn’t really matter though – at that point IVF was the only realistic option left on the table.

After choosing an IVF doctor, one of the aforementioned urologists simply retrieved a sperm sample via a long needle (again – general anesthesia was used, again – thank god…).  Then when Jill went through her retrieval process a lovely Asian woman in a lab brought her egg and my sperm together and magic ensued.  Likely awkward, nervous magic, but magic nonetheless…

Uncovering Truths

As part of the process to qualify for IVF, there is a fairly rigorous series of blood work and ultrasounds that need to be done.  The doctor wants to make sure that you are a good candidate for success.  A full blood count was done; we were tested for cystic fibrosis (among other things), vitamin D levels, and thyroid function. When my thyroid results came back it actually showed that I have a mild case of hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid).  There have been several tests that have linked hypothyroidism to the increased chance of miscarriage.  So although that result ended up putting the IVF cycle off for two months while I got my levels back to normal, I was still glad that they found it.

When I was growing up, my mom eventually told my sister and I that she had had three miscarriages besides her two successful ones.  And I’m pretty sure that my grandma had two, so I had always been a little concerned that I might be at a higher risk for miscarriage.  And with the process we have to go through just to get pregnant, I wanted to avoid that at all costs.  I’m sure, when my mom was pregnant in the 60s and 70s, no one thought or knew to test for thyroid function, so it went undiagnosed.  However, when my sister got married and before they even started trying to have kids, she found out that she has the same thyroid condition.  Since it had already been treated by the time she did get pregnant, she never had a miscarriage.  To me that was a huge connection. I was certainly willing to delay if it meant increasing our chances of success the first time around.

I also had a hysteroscopy, which is a scope (with a camera!!) of my uterus to make sure it is healthy and that it will be welcoming of the retrieval and transfer process.  As Joe so delicately put it, we definitely don’t have that channel on our TV at home.  Although it is a little odd to watch your uterus on a TV screen, it was still pretty neat.  And I found out that my uterus is naturally tilted about 45 degrees -  nothing to worry about.  But who would’ve known!!

Why I Actually Think We’re Lucky

Most people who hear about couples having to go through IVF feel a certain level of sympathy. When the decision has been made to start trying for a baby, you don’t ever think this will be your path.  We certainly didn’t.  But I actually think we are really fortunate to have discovered that IVF was going to be our required path fairly quickly.

We tried naturally for about 6 months before I went into my gynecologist.  At that point, the tests started, and that was a difficult process in itself.  But we found out after about 4 months where our challenges stemmed from, and there was a procedure done to try and reconcile the issue which was unsuccessful. So after only 6 months of trying to figure this out, we had our answers and knew what our solution would be. IVF was still daunting, but at least we knew.

There are so many couples out there that are desperate for a baby.  They try for years, they have an endless amount of tests done, and they put thousands of dollars into the process. But everything they do comes back negative and doesn’t help explain why they can’t get pregnant.  That would have been excruciating for us, and it makes the decisions of what to do going forward so much more difficult. Should we keep trying?  Can we afford to keep trying? Should we adopt instead?

We definitely would have preferred being able to have our babies naturally (certainly more fun), but I am so thankful that we have answers in our hands.  This is a solution that we are able to afford that allows us to try and have kids of our own. That, to me, is a real blessing.

Hello World

So.  Hi.  Thanks for stopping.  A bit of introduction is probably necessary.  I'm Joe -- my wife is Jill.  I tend to think of this as "our" blog and hopefully you'll see posts from both of us at various points.  Anyways -- We're in our mid-30s and we own a home.  When I was younger I had what I called the trifecta -- it was the measuring stick by which I judged how "grown-up" a person was.  It, logically, consisted of three parts -- marriage, owning a home, and having kids.  So we have the first two taken care of, but the third -- that one wasn't quite so easy...

I don't want to ruin all the good stories right off the bat, so I'll save the specifics of why we're going through IVF for a later time.  Clearly, though, we can't have kids the 'old-fashioned way.'  We tried -- and it was fun -- but after about six months or so it become clear that it just wasn't going to happen, so before we relocated from Chicago to Milwaukee we were both scoped, poked, and prodded to find out what was up.  Not too long after moving to Milwaukee we started the process by visiting with a few different IVF docs.  Now -- about a year after moving here -- we're actually getting the process started.  And its a lot.  Which is why we decided to start a blog.


The way I see it, there are roughly three main goals we would to accomplish with the blog:


1) Educate.  Probably for the most part this will be friends and family, but it would be neat to help people we don't find out more about the process.


2) Update.  See, the thing about IVF is that -- we think about it all the time.  It's all-consuming.  So when we're not talking about it, or - amazingly - not thinking about it -- we don't really want to talk or think about it.  But we also fully recognize that people are interested -- as they should be.  This is our way of saying -- hey -- this is whats going on, without having to answer the question "How is IVF going?"  Because the honest answer really goes one of two ways -- its either 'it kinda sucks and it costs a lot of money' OR 'I'll tell you in 9 months.'  Both are pretty accurate.


3) Record.  Maybe this is narcissism - I don't know.  I just think it'll be interesting to come back and look at this in the future -- regardless of how things work out.


Lastly, just a heads-up as to subjects coming at some point in the future -- I'll break down that $25,000 number in the blog's title, give more about the biology and what is happening, and we'll definitely spend a lot of time talking about what the experience is like.  Because it's crazy, it's weird, and hopefully -- it'll be successful.